some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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