But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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