Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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