Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
