Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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