Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
we should paint friendship bongs
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