Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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