There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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