I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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