It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
