I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
