instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize