I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
