woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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