I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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