My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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