I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
