It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
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Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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