Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
