After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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