I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
