she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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