everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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