YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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