I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
