OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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