i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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