his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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