So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
