i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
