I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I cannot find my penis.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Can I color on your dick again?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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