Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
