Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
