My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize