I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
