Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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