how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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