New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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