Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize