I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
