Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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