Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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