Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
