ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
