we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
