new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
