I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
this will be a night to untag.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
