So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
