if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
