And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
