well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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