his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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