Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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