We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
