Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
