the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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