ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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