Even water is tasting like jack daniels
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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