I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
